Sharing is caring is the most popular adage on social media. It is important in life too. I know you’ll ask me why? Because no two persons have come together or gone together. Each one has his own personal journey. I have learned the importance of sharing life’s learnings between spouses. I am sharing two instances where the spouse who was left alone managed their life.
I had lost my mother in 1996, she was 55 and my father had just retired. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer and the end was swift. Now, when I look back, I thank God for reducing her agony. But it has left a big void in my father’s life. They were a very happy and compatible duo. We both sisters were married and both oldies were having a jolly good time together. Papa had a few offers to join after retirement, which he refused as they both wanted to have a relaxing time together. Mom left within two years of his retirement. It took almost two years for papa to come to terms with his loneliness. My parents had a good friend circle and had a good social life. But after my mom’s death, papa’s social life seems to be taking a different turn. If some uncle-aunty come to visit papa, aunties used to feel uncomfortable as there was no company for them. For the same reason, papa has also stopped going out. This increased loneliness and social disconnect. Thankfully, some of the neighbours were very supportive and they used to spend time with him but then, one has to be in control to have a good life.
Yes, life has to be led happily, come what may. Because whoever is left behind has to live. Since papa was always inclined towards meditation, he designed a schedule of the day which keeps him busy with things he loved doing. That is reading spiritual books, meditation, and TV watching. This is all along with managing his household was sufficient to keep him gainfully busy all day. It took him almost a year to sort out his life.
Circa 2018, someone close has lost her husband. This lady was a highly educated university professor. They were role models for any husband-wife duo. Their mutual understanding, mutual respect for each other, and strong support for professional excellence were superb. He died in his late seventies and his wife was in the early seventies. But this lady is still not able to take charge of her life. She has almost stopped living her life. This way, she is doing injustice to her children and herself. I would say, she is even doing injustice to her beloved late husband too.
Though it is definitely a very life-changing event but needs a discussion and planning to live after one partner has called off the journey from the planet. It is a common scenario in most homes, that certain chores are taken care of by the husband and certain chores are taken care of by the wife. It is always a good idea to share your expertise in your areas with your partner so that when left alone, he/she will have at least the basic knowledge to deal with it. This is one major area, which commands more discussion as one gets old.
So get talking and sharing people!
I am taking part in #BlogchatterA2Z.