Down Memory Lane, Musings

Alone or with Children

Should one keep the children with oneself to keep company in the old age?

I have always been of the opinion that children should be allowed to soar and explore and as parent, I will help them to find their own place in the big bad/ good world. Both of my children left  homes after they passed class 12th. Elder one left to join an institute in south Indian state Tamilnadu, almost 1700km away. Younger one left still farther to New Zealand and then to USA.

The boys used to come once or twice an year. They try to coordinate and come together so that we have real fun together as family. The time when they are here keeps me and my husband real busy. We stay awake long hours in night, the mid night snacks and late night discussions were just fun. I loved all of this and much more.

The time of going back comes faster than expected. The moment of leaving  was really painful. It needs lots of control over mind and heart. So much of effort is needed to control tears. But the moment, boys reach their respective destinations, we both come back to our routine life.

Yeah, just as the boys have a routine away from the family, so do we . Now, we have enough time to laze around. No need to get up late at night to cook midnight snacks, or serve one meal a number of times. Now, we have enough time to exercise or read a novel without worrying about serving evening snacks to the hungry and tired souls coming from work out from gym. Going together on long drives, photography and sitting silently with a book has its own romance.

I may sound abnormal, but after letting go the children leaves life much more interesting and full of fun!  Being independent and having a routine which is less taxing and just right for growing years leave with just enough energy to enjoy the twilight years . It’s much better for the children too as the experiences they have in managing their affairs teaches them a lot.

The time flies faster than we ever imagine and this arrangement is great when they are married. I am not at all a believer of keeping boys with myself after their marriages. It’s better to live independently and be there for each other when the need be. While living alone , one can persue their own interests at their own pace and become responsible towards their health. I do not want the fast paced life for ever.

Live and let live !

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